Day 2 - 19/06/05

sunday 19/06/05
next day said our fond farewells and headed towards messina where we’d need to stock up on fuel because we would be driving through zimbabwe. we were a little shaken because the conditions in zim had deteriorated. we filled the car’s tank, stocked up on cigarettes and things like batteries and snacks. bush pig had a falling out with the pavement so he grazed his knee and twisted his anckle (ag shame, bush pig was accident prone throughout the trip and this is where it all started)
we needed to buy another bottle for fuel and the woman who was selling the empty bottles was asking too much for it so we bought 1 cheaper from a guy on the street and drove out to a garage to fill it only to find it had holes in the bottom. argh… people are amazing aren’t they? so we ended up going back to that woman and ultimately ended up paying more than we wanted for the damn thing. we all sent our last sms’s and made our last fone calls because once across that border there would be no signal for us for the rest of the trip. the most beautifull scenery on the drive in the north was baobabs everywhere… and i mean everywhere… wow! awesome! we drove for just over an hour and we were at the border which thank god was not busy at that time. went in, filled in what we needed to, dr jones had to pay all kinds of insurance and taxes for the car. there was this little guy hovering around us telling us what to fill in, which queue to stand in and basic stuff that we already knew. 40 minutes later after we eventually cleared all the checks this little guy tells us we must pay him r300 for all his help. well that’s just great don’t you think, r300 for less than an hrs work plus its not like he was much help anyway, he didn’t even help us jump the queues ‘cause there weren’t any. we gave him a poo sandwhich and r20 instead.

our next stop was harare where we’d be staying with a lovely couple, pat and mike. the first thing we saw after crossing the border : mobil garage. ha ha ha!!! the drive to harare was long; the areas we drove through were rural and unpleasant to look at. it was very dry, the people lived in mud huts, the goats and cattle were really skinny and the situation just looked so desperate out there. we found a river where some locals were washing their clothes and the boys decided this would be a fine spot for a ‘kayak in the water’ photo opp.
eventually we made it to harare which is a big city. it was shocking to see how the cars queued outside the garages for about 100m, deserted at the side of the road ‘cause there’s no fuel. and there were hordes of people just standing at the side of the road battling to go anywhere, no taxi’s, no fuel. we got to the airport from which we called mike for directions. it would be another half an hour’s drive to get to their place. they live in a beautiful house and a decent suburb. they’re an elderly couple who are very passionate about cars. they owned about 5 cars and each 1 was in good condition.
we stayed and had a drink with them until the time came for kati (who didn’t get a nickname for the trip) to land. we ate out at a portugese restaurant. each 1 of us had half a peri-peri chicken and chips. us ladies shared 2 bottles of wine (which makes chateaux de cardboard taste absolutey lovely) it tasted much like fermented vinegar that could possibly be flamable but i must say it went down well with the meal. the guys drank beers and they also had space for dessert. in total (this is including the tip) the meal amounted to $1.2million. of course that’s in zim dollars the equivalent of r400 which is inexpensive considering that the portions were large and the 6 of us ate at r66a head. not bad! it was amusing to see pat haul out this big wad of money that took her quite a while to count.
when asked why they don’t just leave the country ‘cause of all that’s happened with the economy and mugabe and, and, and… they said that in spite of everything their lifestyle hasn’t really changed much. they have security in their home like any home in sa, their neighbourhood is quite safe, they own their house and they’re business does well, they’re happy even if they have to struggle with fuel and all the rest of it. it was pat who put it so eloquently: they’d rather live like kings in a 'kafir' country as opposed to living like a 'kafir' in a kings country. that phrase really stuck, because every country we visited, all the people we met had the same attitude (of course i’m refering to the white folk) you live in luxury, sure u don’t have the exact same house situated in sandton or on the coast over-looking the sea somewhere in sa but u have this huge luxury home and you live a safe and comfortable life where you can afford to have many servants who are loyal and respect you.
i didn’t sleep too well that night. it was cold, i was restless and i had all kinds of weird dreams disturbing my slumber.

leaving the concrete jungle

the preparations
so the trip is 2 weeks long. you clearly need a checklist if you’re away from the comfort and convenience of your home. so here goes…

• passport- check! (george’s passport had expired but eventually after days of kissing someone’s ass and a little deception, the extension was granted), visa’s- not needed.
• clothes-well i packed for winter BECAUSE it’s winter in south africa but i was soon told that the temperatures averaged a whopping 28 degrees. sceptical, i added only 2 bikini’s and 2 pairs of shorts and a couple tops. (which is understandible BECAUSE i’ve never been that far north, well not on this continent at least and my hang over wasn’t helping my thought processes 1 little bit)
• next up, toiletries… thought i packed all the bare essensials, but the one thing i forgot (and i must ADD most people do) was a nailclipper. it’s really such a pain because at some point nails break or become so black and filthy that they need to be short and a leatherman just doesn’t do the trick (ended up chewing them down to nothing)
• next, money, took only what i thought i’d need and my bank cards (who knew the countries we’d be visiting were so rural, that i can count how many towns had atm’s on just my fingers)
• water and food – check (cant drink the water in most places and food, i now know was a brilliant idea because it is pretty scarce. all we ever bought was bread… so much for my ‘i don’t eat starch’ diet. also most of the food/fish/whatever the locals were selling had a buy 1, get 3 free offer- flies… mmm… yum!!!)
• booze – check!!!
• ciggies - check!!! (except that we under-estimated how much smoking would be done on the trip, so when you run out you buy the local shyte and its so bad that normally on the back of the pack where they give you the break down of nicotene and tar- the local stuff just says 'medium tar'... this is the stuff that gives u lung disease and kills u)
• jerrycans – check (a big, big must. rural villages where the local people’s mode of transportation is on foot or bicycle have no garages for hundreds of kilometres and also zimbabwe is in so much debt that they cant afford to buy fuel)
• camera – whoops!!! i knew we forgot something, luckily patrick our dear friend (who invited us along on this expidition) the bush editor for sa 4x4, is a photographer, phew!!! plus we picked up a disposable on our way out of sa
• some vacuum sealed poo sandwhiches- check!! (if anyone gives u shit… u give it rite back)
• cutlery and crockery and stuff to braai with – another whoops!!!! damit!!!
• and of course the beautiful disco

(so here’s the lingo: landy = landrover, disco = discovery) what a beauty though, so much space and comfort and so smooth on the road… and that’s tar or dirt, straight and flat or riddled with potholes. (so like ,what’s a pothole???)

george = bush pig
patrick = dr jones
me = j-lo

day 1 : saturday 18/06/05
departure time was supposed to be 5:30am, i’m not too sure but we sorta, kinda, maybe left at sunrise-ish, i think (remember i had a serious hang-over and the story about the night before is a different expidition altogether, oh my goodness is all i have to say about that!!) we drove to the south of jhb to pick up some fruit and veggies that the lovely people of fruit and veg city donated. then we set off for the vennetia nature reserve which is home to wild dog conservation and research center (sponsored by landrover of course) patrick had to do a story on them. the drive felt long eventhough we must have arrived there at about 12pm. the hang-over had turned me into an absolute zombi with no concept of time, unable to string together sentnces nor eat or drink or nap (well as bizarre and as morbid as it may sound i made a rule never to sleep on road trips as i have the biggest fear of waking up dead and surrounded by mangled bodies, so i prefer to be awake to watch it happen. thanx, ha ha ha!!!)

once we settled in, i tried in vain to catch some zzz’s, meanwhile the boys were outside playing with the kayak and taking pics. dr jones had the idea of doing a story for some paddle mag, where we’d paddle everyday of the trip in any body of water we manage to find (today it would be the water tank)
we went on a game drive which was around 2pm. this place is huge! took a half hour to get from where we were staying (which is a secure spot that’s right in the middle of the reserve where the animals roam) to where the ranger was and then another hour to get to the den of the wild dogs. saw wilde beest, baboons and dassies along the way. the big 5 minus the buffallo are among the animals who inhabit the reserve. we arrived at the den where harriet who heads up the research team told us the dogs have what they call a rally. and like clockwork it happens at the same time everyday at around 3:30pm. at first it was very quiet and we all sat there watching in anticipation. they basically meet around the den and they greet each other. it is an amazing site. it starts with 1 of the dogs running alongside another and they ckackle and laugh like only wild dogs do and they just look completely happy giggling together like a bunch of school girls. it’s facinating to see how the greetings spread as more and more dogs join in… they don’t leave anyone out. we sat there in complete awe, mesmerised.
we sat there for what seemed like hours when something spectacular happened, the 3 week old wild dog pups left the comfort of their den and we were the first people to see them. the rangers were thrilled, trying to count how many pups were visible. they looked like little kittens, just too adorable. we were told that the mother is so protective of her pups that she never leaves the den. she gets food from the other dogs, who after having eaten, regurgitate some meat for her. it’s facinating to know that wild dogs need about 4kgs of meat a day to survive. and eventhough she often has to beg for it, she’s been provided for by the rest of her pack.
we left them at about 5pm, just before sunset and headed back to the ranger’s home but before we got to her place, just outside the gate of the reserve i spotted what i thought looked like the carcus of an impala, also not too sure if its just the hang-over playing tricks with my eyes, because by this time there was hardly any light left in the sky, i kind of went like “isn’t that a… um… nah” and someone else had a look and we all rushed over to see what it was. after playing csi for a couple of minutes we decided to take it back with us because the meat could be poisoned.

got back to harriet’s place where we had a braai and a couple of drinks. what a pleasant bunch of people. they were however concerned about me, ‘no really guys i’m not normally this quiet, i promise!’ then bush pig pipped up about the night we had had and everyone had a good chuckle. but after a good meal and a few drinks i was my perky self again. of course they find it necessary to tell us about the spitting mozambiquen cobra that linda found in her bed ten days earlier, but still i had the best sleep ever that night. it’s amazing how bright the stars and the moon are when you find yourself far from the big cities.